When the time comes
Today I went back to my Church, where I used to participate in years ago, near NTU (National Taiwan University).
It was like a dream, or like being in somewhere between dream and reality. Like remembering something long lost, while you felt nothing has ever been left behind, only your own time outside the Church is sort of passing away. How did I survive all these time not being there? How could I make such a mess out of myself? I don't know. I just felt happy inside when I approached the church.
The first person I met today was pastor Kang. He was just like before, serious and straight forward. He was talking on the phone when I walked into the office where his personal working room is located. He gave me a sign to enter, yet I waited outside his room for him to finish his phone call. He gave me the same sign again, so I walked in.
"How can I be at your service?" He asked. Very typical pastor Kang.
"How about a welcome? since I am the long lost one."
We chatted for no more than 10 minutes. He prayed for/with me. I didn't ask for more time. Only being back is great enough for me.
I met sister Fen Lan as well. She has been like an aunt. Talking to them was really...assuring and security-giving, yet confusing at the same time. How can I be out there alone for all these time? I felt like a silly rat, running up and down and exhausted myself for nothing. Then complain about my own discomfort, all the time. How could I lead such a stupid way of life, when the real place to go is just few blocks away?
I've indulged myself in my own fantacy and imagination for so long, that now I can't seem to know what to do besides pray and giving thanks. I pray for her especially, that's the only thing that I feel important at the moment.
And may all the nightmares be gone for good.
It was like a dream, or like being in somewhere between dream and reality. Like remembering something long lost, while you felt nothing has ever been left behind, only your own time outside the Church is sort of passing away. How did I survive all these time not being there? How could I make such a mess out of myself? I don't know. I just felt happy inside when I approached the church.
The first person I met today was pastor Kang. He was just like before, serious and straight forward. He was talking on the phone when I walked into the office where his personal working room is located. He gave me a sign to enter, yet I waited outside his room for him to finish his phone call. He gave me the same sign again, so I walked in.
"How can I be at your service?" He asked. Very typical pastor Kang.
"How about a welcome? since I am the long lost one."
We chatted for no more than 10 minutes. He prayed for/with me. I didn't ask for more time. Only being back is great enough for me.
I met sister Fen Lan as well. She has been like an aunt. Talking to them was really...assuring and security-giving, yet confusing at the same time. How can I be out there alone for all these time? I felt like a silly rat, running up and down and exhausted myself for nothing. Then complain about my own discomfort, all the time. How could I lead such a stupid way of life, when the real place to go is just few blocks away?
I've indulged myself in my own fantacy and imagination for so long, that now I can't seem to know what to do besides pray and giving thanks. I pray for her especially, that's the only thing that I feel important at the moment.
And may all the nightmares be gone for good.
posted by kevin | 14:37
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